Awkward Things for a Guy to Say on a First Date – For this time, we can share about “24 Awkward Things for a Guy to Say on a First Date”. Let’s see
1. Hi, nice to meet you. I’m a hugger. Do you hug? Let’s hug
2. Sorry, I’m late. I had to feed my five cats, Max, Mocha, Momo, Muffin and Stephen Colbert
3. Sorry, I’m late. I was talking about you with my mom before she dropped me off just now
4. Sorry, I’m late. I lost track of time at the gym, so I skipped the shower. I’m not too sweaty right now, am I?
5. You look different from your photos. In person you look… healthier.
6. I’m a foodie. Are you a foodie, too? You totally look like a foodie, like totally
7. Before we talk about anything, I have something very important to ask you… Have you met Jesus?
8. Hold, hold, hold. Something smells just fabulous. Do you use Herbal Essence? Lean in to me so I can smell your hair
9. I’ve got one hour with you. Let’s get this over with
10. I found you on Facebook last night. We have twenty-three mutual friends.
11. I found your old Xanga and I read everything in one sitting. I feel like I’m already intimate with you
12. I found out you used to date a guy named Steve. What was that like?
24 Awkward Things for a Guy to Say on a First Date
13. I found out I used to date your former roommate. Is that okay?
14. You work at Google? Can I email you my resume right now? I’m unemployed.
15. Let’s get drunk tonight.
16. I don’t see what’s wrong with having a Liquid Cocaine on a first date.
17. Last night I read a book about seducing women. It said I should say your hair looks like a waffle. Is it working?
18. Hold on, let me Instagram your food.
19. Can I take your leftovers home? I want it for lunch tomorrow.
20. My buddies don’t believe I’m on a date right now. Can I send them a photo of us right now?
21. Don’t worry, I got the bill. You just be a woman and sit there pretty, okay?
22. Look, I already know you won’t see me again. I get it. But at least can you give me a long and tight hug before you go? I’m lonely.
23. I live a block away. You’re so coming.
24. Come meet my five cats. Stephen Colbert would be ecstatic to meet you.
This article originally appeared on Just Call Her. Tommy Danger Kim is the dude behind Just Call Her. He brings a method to the madness of female-vs-male dynamics. His mission is to spell things out to a ridiculous extent, because we all need it badly. Very badly.